Falling apart.

We were sisters, shared everything. Fought and made up. Almost like an old couple.


We had a fight, like sisters do. Only this time.. you left me. You wont answer me. Not my messages nor my calls. I've tried everything.. And then you finally answered, and all you had to say was "Izzy, stop writing to me. You're a drama-queen and a selfish idiot." 


That hurt, like never before. You KNOW all I ever want to do is make everybody else then ME happy. I'll do anything for my friends.. ANYTHING! Yes, I spend a lot of time on my friends.. and a lot of money. But you.. you know you're my everything. My sun, my moon and my stars. You're my sister. 


And then you left me, all alone. When I needed you the most. You left me after you kicked all the air out of my lungs. You say I treat you like shit.. My own sister. YOU KNOW YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME! 


I'm nothing without you. You're the one who put me together when I fall apart. 


Do I really mean that little to you? I can't mean a lot since you can leave me just like that.. My friend says I should leave you alone because you're treating me like dirt. But I can't. You're my bloody sister! I can't hate you.. never! But I guess that isn't returned back. 


My life has been a living hell since you left. My heart has betrayed me.. multiple times. Where were you when I called out for you? I begged, and you ignored me. 


I love you, don't leave me forever. 


You're mad, I get that. But how long can you be that. I'm begging you to talk to me. Anything. A little sign.. just anything. 


I was standing in front of your house, for an hour. Wanting to knock on your door. I didn't have the courage to do it. To talk to my own sister. Then my dad went over to you.. and said Merry Christmas. This is the first time in my life I haven't visited you when I was at my grandparents house. All I could think of is you, you you you. 


Is this a goodbye forever? 


All I want for christmas is you. 


- Izzy